How
to Take a Hurt (Bitter Root) to Jesus
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Bobby
G. Bodenhamer, D.Min. Edited by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
A Story
Samuel came to me for help.
Two years prior to this he had broken things off with his
girlfriend that he had dated for five years. She had even
wore his engagement ring and without question, Samuel loved
her dearly. What brought him into my office that day? The
day before, he learned of her engagement to another man. And
that triggered a flood of grief that rolled in over his soul.
He became so distraught, in fact, that he had to leave work.
After questioning and some
therapy, underneath those surface issues Samuel's real grief
came out. Namely, he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and
then, against his objections, she aborted the baby. Samuel
had gone with her to support her during the procedure. But
now his grief felt overwhelming.
I asked Samuel, "What
do you do inside your head to feel this grief and guilt from
the abortion?" Then, through questioning, we discovered
that he made a picture of himself and his girlfriend in the
abortion room. He saw this disliked image as if very close
and down to his right.
Now I knew that Samuel deeply
loved and respected Jesus, so I asked Samuel to get an image
of Jesus that represented Him in all of His love, forgiveness
and acceptance. As he did, he saw Jesus on the screen of his
mind as if straight up and in front of him. This big, bright
clear picture of Jesus loomed before him--obviously an important
value in his life. I then directed Samuel to point toward
that image of Jesus with one of his fingers. He pointed to
Jesus with his right index finger. As he did I then directed
him to point his left index finger toward the image of him
and his girlfriend in the abortion room. Though he didn't
know why I wanted him to do this, Samuel did it.
After establishing the location
of each of these images and pointing to them with his index
fingers, I next directed Samuel to continue to hold his head
in the same position that he held it when he made that internal
picture of Jesus. The next step involved asking him to "move'
his image of him and his girlfriend by just using just his
eyes. "Just mentally take that image over there of you
and her, which your left hand points to, and move it here
where you see Jesus and give that old disliked
and painful image of that younger you and her to Jesus."
In doing this, Samuel shifted his internal image that made
up his memory about his younger self and his girlfriend. He
shifted it so that he now saw it in the exact same position
as the image he had of Jesus.
Now while Samuel made this
shift, I said, "Jesus loves you, Samuel. He desires more
than anything else to forgive you and receive you unto Himself,
both you and your girlfriend. So allow yourself to begin to
let that old image of you and your girlfriend take the exact
form as the image you have of Jesus . . . so that you see
it at the same distance, in the same location, with the same
amount of brightness and focus, with the same amount of color...
And as you give your thoughts, these memories, and how you
represent them to Jesus as you give yourself to Jesus, you
can begin to forgive yourself fully, can't you?"
As Samuel followed the words and made the internal shifts,
I could see noticeable changes occur in his breathing and
in his face.
Then, I directed Samuel to
welcome an image of his baby into his mind.... Immediately,
Samuel got this image and as he did, he began to cry. Validating
his grief, I asked him to in like manner, point to your
internal location of the baby. He located the baby in
his mind down low and to his right.
I then asked Samuel to move
his finger as he shifted the image of his aborted child into
the presence of Jesus. As he did this, I encouraged him with
the words, "Jesus says, 'Suffer little children to come
unto me for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.' And now you
can give your baby to Jesus as you put him in the same
location, distance, brightness, focus and color of you have
of your internal representations of Jesus, can't you?"
As Samuel moved the image of
his aborted child into the presence of Christ he sobbed heavily.
While he experienced the healing power of the Holy Spirit,
I remained quiet to allow God to do his mighty work of healing
in Samuel.
After awhile, Samuel became
more quiet and so I asked, "Now, where do you see your
baby?" Immediately, Samuel eyes looked straight up. He
pointed toward the location where previously he had located
his representations of Jesus. He said, "I see him with
Jesus." And sure enough, Samuel had the glow of God on
his face.
Just How Does a Person "Put
the Past Behind"?
How long this all of
this therapy take? Two hours. More recently, I received a
thank you note from Samuel informing me that he feels so much
better and has finally gotten on with his life in a healthy
and godly way. Nor does this represent an exceptional case.
With Christian after Christian, I have seen the joy of bringing
good resolution to old hurts and clung to resentments.
For twenty years as a minister,
I would encourage hurting people to "Give your hurts
to Jesus." To that invitation, many would ask, "Preacher
Bob, I don't know how. I want to. I just don't know
how." And true enough, they really did not know
how.
At that time I would answer
them with a catch-all kind of response, "Just do it by
faith." And while that sounded good at one level, at
another I knew that it really did not provide anybody a step-by-step
procedure for how to do it. Now, thanks to the knowledge
I have obtained from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), I
now know how to direct them to both literally and actually
"give their hurts to Jesus."
The scripture that molds my
thinking on that arises from the book of Hebrews. There the
writer warned:
"See to it that no one
misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up
to cause trouble and defile many." (12:15).
What comprises these "bitter
roots?" They consist of traumatic experiences of
pain, distress, disappointment, guilt, etc. That starts the
seed of bitterness growing. And without a good resolution
to that trauma, once afflicted, the bitter memories
and how we represent those memories in our minds-and-bodies
can keep a person continually torn up with that pain as much
as if the person continued to go through that experience.
And so it grows like a poisonous root. And as it does it makes
toxic and bitter more and more facets of the person's life
Samuel's guilt and grief arose
from a very bitter root that had long driven his behavior.
Grief, guilt, bitterness, low self-esteem, co-dependency,
sexual compulsions, eating disorders, etc., indicate bitter
roots at work in people's lives. These pains almost always
hark back to some specific event, interaction, or hurt and
then continue to grow and take on a life of their own by the
way we internally represent them ("as a man thinks in
his heart...." so he increasingly becomes!).
Yes, a person can love Jesus
and live as a devout Christian and still have bitter roots
of hurt and ugliness continue to control one's emotions, states,
and behaviors. For that very reason, the Hebrew writer wrote
that we "see to it" that we don't miss out on the
grace of God due to some poisoning, toxifying bitter root.
These bitter roots, for the most part, work unconsciously
within us and so often require therapeutic assistance in uncovering
and resolving them. But, once uncovered, the procedure I used
with Samuel, and described below, will work miracles in the
life of hurting Christians. I encourage you therefore to read
the following carefully. Read it several times using yourself
as the experimental subject. In it you will learn how to "take
a bitter root to Jesus" so that no bitter root will block
your full experience of God's grace.
How the Brain Codes Memories
We often hear people use metaphorical
phrases as the following: "I feel pretty dull today?"
"I hear you loud and clear." We all use such metaphorical
sayings. Until the discoveries of NLP, we considered them
as "just metaphors," and didn't give them any importance
other than the beauty of expression. However, NLP suggests
that we take such as literal descriptions of the speaker's
internal representations (images) for how that person codes
reality. In other words, what we say may indicate what the
brain represents literally. And in NLP, we consider mental
codings as the most basic component of brain functioning in
the same way the Bible asserts that "as we think"
so we become (Proverbs 23:7).
In human brains, we process
information in three primary ways: through pictures, sounds,
and feelings. In other words, the modes of awareness
by which God has enabled us to see, hear and feel the world
also function as our internal modes for "mapping
out" or representing that world. So when the Bible speaks
about "the eyes of our heart" (Eph. 1:18) it speaks
about our internal vision. And from the field of the
neuro-sciences, we now know that our Creator has built us
with a visual cortex for processing sights, images, pictures,
etc. on the inside, an auditory cortex for processing
internal sounds, tones, voices, noise, etc., and a
motor cortex for processing internal sensations, feelings,
or kinesthetics.
We use these sensory
specific modes (seeing, hearing, feeling) to "re-present"
to ourselves the facts of the world, hence our "representational
systems." We also use words as a way of "thinking"
and representing, although words operate at a higher or meta-level
of processing information above ("meta")
the sensory levels.
When the brain received information
through the eyes, it records it in what we experience as internal
pictures. When the brain receives information through the
ears, the brain record it as sounds and when it receives it
kinesthetically (in sensations) it gets stored as a feeling.
This information then shows up as our sensory representations
and describes the components of our "thoughts."
To provide you some hands-on experience with this understanding,
do the following.
1) What do you find "pleasant?"
Recall a pleasant experience you have had. You do have a picture
of it, don't you? Good, now check for the following qualities
or properties of your visual picture and write them down:
Do you see the picture in color
or black and white?
Do you see the picture as three
dimensional or flat like a photograph?
Do you see yourself in the
picture or do you look out as if through your own eyes (dissociated/
associated)?
Does the picture have a frame
around it or does it seem panoramic?
Do you see it as a movie or
a still picture?
Do you see the picture far
off or does it seem close?
Do you see it as bright, or
dark, or in between?
Do you see it as in focus or
out of focus?
Where do you see the picture
located?
Up to your left?
In front of you?
You have now accessed and identified
facets of your visual images that, for the most part, remain
unconscious. It describes your internal coding of information--how
you represent things to yourself. Excellent. Now for step
two.
2) Next, what do you think
of as an unpleasant memory? As you allow an image of an unpleasant
memory to come to mind, you can again, note the visual
components that make it up, and write down the mental codings
of that memory. Go through the same list as above.
3) Once you have done that,
then notice the distinctions between how you mentally
code the pleasant and the unpleasant memories. You will find
differences. How your brain codes those differences
creates the difference that you feel and recognize.
4) The next step involves shifting
your unpleasant memory so that it takes on the same location
as your pleasant memory. As you shift the unpleasant memory
to the same location as the pleasant memory, allow all of
the other mental codings of the unpleasant memory (size, brightness,
closeness, etc.) to become similar to your pleasant memory.
In other words, you will signal your brain (so to speak) to
represent the unpleasant memory with how you represent the
pleasant memory. Once you have done that, take a moment and
experience it fully... Even though the content of the
unpleasant memory remains the same, I think that you will
notice that your feelings about that memory becoming, strangely,
more pleasant, do you not? How can that occur?
It occurs because the human
brain determines the parameters of our experiences by these
mental codings and most importantly by the higher word meanings
we give those codings. In moving the content of the unpleasant
memory into the codings that you code something that you have
placed the meaning to as being pleasant, you "activate"
the higher level meaning of pleasant. Now, if you choose to
not to make that unpleasant memory mean pleasant, your brain
will automatically switch it back into the codings of an unpleasant
memory.
The word meaning determines
the codings and not vice versa. When you give an image that
you have placed the meaning to of hurt, guilt, anger, etc.
into the codings of an image that you have given the meanings
of our Lord to like love, forgiveness, total acceptance, etc
then that old bitter root will change to the meaning you have
given to the codings of your image of Jesus. You have activated
a higher level frame of reference or image that has the
higher meanings of Jesus. And, it will stay that way if
you are ready to let the hurt go.
As our brain codes and represents
experiences, it generates emotions and beliefs. Regardless
of your theological persuasion, this suggests that we should
literally interpret Proverbs 23:7a, "For as he thinks
within himself, so he is." In this passage the proverbial
writer expressed a universal truth about how human brains
process information (memories, beliefs, etc.). And, these
mental codings with the higher level word meanings, in turn,
determine our behavior.
In understanding this
model, let's review the difference between two basic levels
of thought. The first level we call the level of the Primary
State. The Primary States of consciousness define those everyday
states of consciousness wherein we experience thought-and-feelings
"about" something in the world "beyond"
or "outside" our nervous system. In these states
our thoughts relate to things "out there" and our
bodies experience the primary emotions like fear-anger, relaxation-tension,
glad-mad, attraction-aversion, etc.
The second level of thought
refers to those abstract states of thought that Michael calls
Meta-states. Meta-states of consciousness define those thoughts
about thoughts, feelings about feelings and states about states.
Here our thoughts-and-emotions relate to and "about"
the world "inside" ourselves. We can hate our hatred
and minimize and/or eliminate our hatred. We can bring faith
to bear on fear and eliminate fear. Thus, as Gregory Bateson
has said, higher level thoughts modulate lower level thoughts
(Steps to an Ecology of Mind). By the process of Meta-stating
ourselves, that is, bringing one thought to bear on another
thought, we can increase a state as fearing our fear, minimize
a state or even eliminate a state. When we really get tired
of hating someone or something and then start hating our hatred,
we may hate our old hatred right out of existence. What happens
when you bring forgiveness to bear on your bitterness? What
happens when you bring forgiveness to bear on your guilt?
What happens when you bring appreciation to bear on frustration?
Anger? Guilt? Sadness? Try it, you might like it.
Now,
when we take an old image of hurt, bitterness, pain, etc to
Jesus, we move that old image from some lower level to a much
higher level namely, Jesus. You can bring Jesus to bear
on the problem or you can move the image "up" to
Jesus. Either way, you are activating a higher level frame
that eliminates the bitter root. And, always, higher levels
modulate or change lower levels. And, Jesus sure does change
lower level hurts, doesn't He? He lives in your mind
and heart at a much higher level than those old hurts from
years ago. And, by moving that image of hurt into the codings
of Jesus, you activate that higher level meaning you
have given to Jesus and he "evaporates" away the
hurt for "Greater is He that is in you than he that is
in the world."
You have just experienced a
brief course on the art of "running your own brain"--that
bio-computer between your ears that creates your subjective
realities. When people program mechanical computers, they
have to know the "programming language." Well, the
programming language that God built into the human
brain ingenuously uses the sensory system of the senses that
he built into the body and the transcendental system
he built into the mind--words. How true indeed that he has
marvelously and wonderfully made us (Psalm 139:14). And
those higher level word meanings we have given to Jesus will
evaporate any bitter root for He is GREATER!
Taking a Bitter Root
to Jesus
All of our negative memories
come coded in some unique mental codings of each person. Christians
who have "Jesus" (their images, understandings,
representations of Jesus) coded in their minds have their
own unique system of making that internal representation.
1) First, take one of your
fingers (or if you use this to assist someone else to make
these transformations of the heart, they have them take one
of their fingers) and point to where you see yourself (and/or
someone else) in the painful memory or "bitter root."
You will point to that memory and identify its location. Now,
point with the other hand at the location of Jesus.
2) Next, only move your
eyes, but not your head, so that you move the image
of the hurt or the "bitter root" so that it shifts
to the same location that you have of Jesus. As you do this,
move your hand as you make this shift. As you move the image
of the hurt into the same location of Jesus, turn the image
of the hurt into the same codings that you have for Jesus.
As you do, say something like this to yourself, "Now,
as I give this person to Jesus, I will notice how Jesus
receives that person unto Himself fully and completely.
And I allow that person in my mind to begin to look just like
Jesus in terms of having the same location, brightness, color,
etc."
De-Briefing The Process
I regularly observe people
undergo tremendous spiritual changes through this process.
People have said such things as: "That five year old
girl (or boy) in me just got saved." Or, "I have
been trying for years to give that person to the Lord. Now,
I have done it." This neurological procedure allows
a client to give their "bitter roots" to Jesus.
When a Christian makes this transition--hatred and bitterness
disappear. How can one hold bitterness and hatred when they
see the formerly hated person with Jesus? God has blessed
this procedure magnificently. How joyous to observe people
once they have given old "bitter roots" to Jesus!
Several factors take place
in this procedure. First, you utilize the healing power of
the Holy Spirit, i.e., Jesus indwelling the Christian. Second,
the truth of the Word of God, and the individual Christian's
belief in that Word, become actualized as you quote pertinent
passages that direct yourself or another to give the "bitter
root" to Jesus. The techniques of NLP simply provide
the conduits for the healing power of the Holy Spirit.
Third, you utilize not only
your belief in the Lord, but also all the resources gathered
from having lived a life of faith. Often I have clients share
with me how the Holy Spirit will bring to their memory specific
spiritual experiences or passages of scripture during this
procedure.
Fourth, you cooperate with
God's creative process as you work with the neurological processes
of the human mind in directing yourself to change the mental
codings and word meanings of the "bitter root" into
the mental codings of Jesus and higher level word meanings
you have about Jesus.
(c)1997 Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min.
Edited by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
www.neurosemantics.com
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