John
Burton, Ed.D.
"What
would happen if the 'nuisi' became cannibals?"
This story recounts a recent
first session experience in therapy with a 12 year-old boy.
We will call him Josh. This is as true as I am able to recall
the sequence of events. This boy comes from a home in which
he was neglected if not abused; little difference though,
as one is passive and the other active. A few weeks ago he
went to live with his single aunt who has also taken in other
children, relatives and non-relatives. He acts out in school
to the tune of getting written up for misbehavior 14 times
in the first 24 weeks of school. He has also received in school
suspension another seven times. By his own account he does
not get along with other children at school. He reports most
of his episodes of getting written up stem from "vocalizing"
at the wrong times. He may say words or just make odd noises.
Underneath this Josh describes "free floating energy"
which just seems to have to come out.
I asked him to further describe
the energy in terms of physical location and sensation. He
stated the energy locates itself in and around his stomach
and up through his chest. Josh stated the energy was hot when
present. I asked how it was after dispensing it. He said the
area was then cold but his heart was racing because he knew
he was in trouble.
We then searched for times
when he felt the hot energy and did not express it. He described
these times as leading to a "good and solid" day.
Brief attempts to further this process and future pace it
seemed insufficient to address the root.
I proceeded to ask if he likes
to draw. He replied he does like to draw. I asked what would
the hot energy look like if he drew it. He said it would be
a nuisance (the energy would be a nuisance). I inquired just
what a nuisance would look like. He described large sharp
teeth (a full set upon clarifying) with a very small brain
attached to them. Noting the obvious disproportion I asked
what would happen if the brain and teeth switched sizes. He
stated it would be worse because the nuisance would be smarter
and do more harm. When asked its purpose he paused and
said it is to eat the good and spit out the bad. He then added
he actually had hundreds of these nuisances not just one.
My unconscious mind then assisted by introducing another concept.
I jokingly referred the plural nuisance as nuisi (noose-eye).
This led to eventual shifting to self-concept.
I asked what would happen if
the nuisi became cannibals. Josh said they would eat each
other up and there would be none left. However, I then asked
what if the nuisi actually had been given the wrong instructions
long ago. They thought they were supposed to eat the good
and spit out the bad but were actually supposed to eat the
bad. In fact wouldnt that make everything good then?
Maybe the nuisi just got the wrong instructions but because
they were loyal and following instructions they obeyed. They
never were really bad they were just doing what they thought
they were supposed to do. What would happen if they were re-programmed?
What if they were told the correct instructions, not to eat
the good? He then came up with the marvelous term. They would
be goodi (good-I) then. So then what would happen when they
join with the other good parts inside already. Well they would
all become nicei (nice-I) then, he said.
Josh then decided they could
all have a meeting inside to re-program the soon to be former
nuisi. This was in response to the question of how could the
nuisi be reprogrammed. He said they would all go inside this
room and close the door leaving him outside. He was a traveler
who could visit both parts but they would leave him out of
this process. He also said it would probably take two or three
days to do all this. Additionally, he would leave one nuisi.
This would be OK as long as it would do what it was supposed
to do when it was supposed to. Clarifying led to realizing
this is his mischevious part which could work in socially
appropriate ways.
After a brief pause and silence
he suddenly proclaimed they were already done with their meeting
and completed their work. Future pacing and some ecology checking
followed. This met with positive responses and we finished
our session. Before parting he shared some of his wisdom.
He stated the part which had been good and bad were now able
to be like Cypress instead of fighting like the Greeks and
Turkish people. He also shared as we all have a nuisi within
us, just one and that is not bad. Further, he stated we all
have a wise part in us. This part comes out after we have
some bad event happen to us. It helps us go on and be better
as a person. He believed he has recently had his bad event
and can now be a better person. I know I was privy to his
wise part that day. The exposure will follow me and make me
a better person.
Two follow-up sessions took
place over the next two weeks. The first found Josh controlling
well his energy at school but not so well after school at
his new home. We then did a visual squash with just visual
images merging. Images representing the part letting out all
the energy and the part penting up all the energy were used.
The elicited images were in separate but parallel locations
at about the auditory/visual level. A merging of these two
images took place at the center point at a higher visual locale.
The result was a comfortable blending he called "normal".
We future paced the resulting resource position and found
multiple new responses now available. The ecology check completed
the process.
The third session found Josh
reveling in his good behavior and the rewards following at
school and home. Reports from his surrogate mother and himself
tell of teachers complimenting him and of his efforts being
above and beyond those required. We spent most of the session
deepening and broadening the new states and programs along
with future pacing them.
Gradually we are shaping a
new identity for this child as his former one was significantly
negative. He is displaying new behaviors and thus causing
new consequences. These will combine to hopefully create essentially
a collapse of anchors into a new self-concept. Significant
work remains but laying ground work regarding his being OK
with being OK is done. Additionally, a custody issue and the
implications he perceives about self if he chooses not to
go back with his natural father await hurdling.
Over one month later we have
met two more times and included his natural father. Gradually
we are transitioning Josh back into his original home setting.
This includes a step-mother and half-brother. The later is
six years his junior. Airing of past concerns and conflicts
was followed by negotiating new response patterns. Additionally,
considerable deeper understanding of family dynamics and reframing
was included. The deeper understanding is a meta position
to the former surface understanding. Once reaching this position
new states and behaviors become readily available and appealing.
All parties developed new perspectives and new patterns of
response along with significantly more resourceful states.
Joshs step-mother was not present in the sessions. The
new resources were simply and effectively implemented in the
relationship with a "willing to try" step-mother.
A follow-up on his school behavior reveals his principle referring
to him as an "ideal student".
This child and his family were
and are all motivated to find solutions though, initially
Josh displayed reluctance. The beauty of the unconscious mind
permits infinite resourcefulness and this revealed itself
throughout our sessions. Sometimes it seems the necessary
resources are lost and never will be found. However, by accessing
the unconscious we find and rejoice in the finding of formerly
missing ingredients. As Josh and his family now operate from
increased resourcefulness one could liken the recovery of
"missing" parts to the return of the prodigal son.
However, this family chose to celebrate by going out to eat
crab legs. None of them felt resentful, rather each was appreciating
and grateful.
Taken
from www.neurosemantics.com
E-mail John Burton: jkburton@charter.net
(c)1998 by John Burton,
Ed.D. All rights reserved.
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