A
Time to Be Active; a Time to Be Still
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Excert From
Kissing Frogs:
Practical Uses of Hypnotherapy
Chapter 10:
A Time to Be Active; A Time to Be Still
Chaplain
Paul G. Durbin
Diretor of Pastoral Care. Pendleton Memorial Methodist Hospital.
New Orleans, La.
The
Bible has many interesting stories, most of which points to
a truth beyond the first impression. As a Hypnotherapist and
hospital Chaplain, I find the story of Jesus visiting Mary
and Martha to be one of those stories that goes beyond appearances.
The story found in Luke 10: 38-42 has nothing to do with hypnosis
or does it? On the surface, this is the record of Jesus visiting
Mary and Martha who with their brother, Lazarus, were close
friends of Jesus.
While Jesus
visits, he begins to talk with the family and other guests.
Mary sat at Jesus' feet and listened to every word that he
spoke. Martha was busy preparing a meal for Jesus and the
others. She comes to Jesus and ask him to tell Mary to help
with the preparing of the meal. Jesus responds, "Martha,
Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. Mary
has chosen a good part which shall not be taken from her."
You may be
wondering, "What does this story have to do with hypnosis?"
I would like to approach this story of Mary and Martha from
a different stance than its traditional interpretations. Instead
of seeing Mary and Martha as two different types of people,
let us see Mary and Martha as two parts of our individual
personality. There are times that we need to stop, relax,
open our minds to new learning opportunities and at other
times we need to be active and doing. Perhaps the message
of this story is that in order to be our best when doing,
we need to just stop, relax, and renew. Is not that what we
do during hypnosis?
In the Biblical
story of Mary and Martha, Mary had her priorities in order.
She had chosen properly. She wanted to hear what Jesus had
to say so she sat herself at the Lord's feet to hear him speak.
As she was sitting at his feet, eye fixation was established
and Mary was open to the good, positive, helpful suggestions
of Jesus. She was open to new learning, new understanding,
and meaning for new life.
To the Martha
in us, Jesus says that there are times when it would have
been better for us to just stop and listen. Martha's problem
was that she did not have her priorities in order. Jesus is
saying that there are times when we need to stop and listen.
It is as the Psalmist wrote, "Be still and know that
I am God" (Psalm 46:10).
We can learn
a lot from Mary for we need to be able to sort out our priorities
in life and put first what really counts. Mary teaches us
an important lesson about stopping, relaxing, focusing, and
listening.
Cindy's Case History
Having been
referred to me by her physician, Cindy (a 28 year old female,
married to her third husband with no children) came to me
for pain management. As a result of her pain, Cindy stayed
in bed most of the time, but would have periods of energy
when she was very active. She talked a lot and many of her
friends felt that she dominated their conversations. Cindy
reminded me a lot of Mary and Martha. She was anxious and
troubled about many things, but very responsive to hypnosis.
The first few
sessions were used to help her develop self hypnosis and pain
management. She was able to reduce her pain considerably and
became much more active in her community. Her favorite pain
management imagery was that of imagining Jesus by her, visualizing
him physically by her and placing his hand on her back. She
could feel the warmth, the healing, the easing, of discomfort.
She would then allow the physical presence of Jesus in her
imagery to fade into a spiritual presence whose touch remained
with her after hypnosis. She also was able to use glove anesthesia
and transfer the numbness from the hand to the area of pain.
Cindy has very
low self esteem and self confidence. After a few sessions,
we began to work on these areas. She had to have everything
in her house just right. Everything has its place and had
to be in place or she would get upset. She was constantly
fighting a fear of failure and had a great need to be accepted
by others.
Increasing self-worth
You are somebody:
Everyone wants to be somebody. Everyone needs to find a personal
identity, a meaning for existence, a reason for living. You
are learning that you are somebody. Billy Graham tells the
story of a farmer's prize pig. The farmer gave the pig a bath,
polished his hoofs, put some perfume on the pig and brought
it into the house as a pet. Everything was ok until someone
left the door open and the pig got outside. Once outside,
he jumped into the first mud puddle that he could find. The
farmer has cleaned the pig, but he had not changed the fact
that he was still a pig.
You are a human
being. Unlike the pig who could not change his nature, you
can move beyond your old ways of thinking and acting to live
a more abundant life. God made you and me. Therefore, love
yourself for you are a being of great worth. A worthy self-image
has enabled people to conquer prejudice, overcome fatigue,
lift depression, break destructive habits, overcome worry,
fear, and anxiety, generate enthusiasm, break boredom, overcome
the compulsive need to be doing something. So love yourself
and feel good about yourself. Your self-confidence and self-worth
are increasing, enabling you to make decisions wisely and
confidently. Your concentration keeps improving more and more
each day, enabling you to set priorities for work and relaxation.
You radiate
a very pleasant personality and find your talents, skills,
and abilities keep increasing day by day. The subconscious
level of your mind causes your creative abilities to keep
emerging, enabling you to live to the best of your abilities.
You enjoy greater and greater peace of mind as you take time
to relax and be at peace. You are somebody and you experience
a deep feeling of pride. You are a person of great worth and
that feels good.
During age
regression, she went back to age five. Her mother was kicking
her and screaming at her, "Stupid, stupid." The
little girl Cindy kept crying, "I did not do anything
wrong, I am a good girl." I asked her if she needed to
go back further in time to the cause of her problem and she
nodded, "yes." "I feel that I am in a black
hole. I am afraid. My mother does not want me. She wants me
to come out, but I am afraid to. If I come out what will she
do with me?" (In a previous session, Cindy had shown
me some drawings. All of those drawings had a tornador of
black hole in the drawing.) This went on for sometime and
concluded with her birth.
Cindy's Initial
Sensitizing Event (ISE) was the experience for not being wanted
while she was still in her mother's womb. Her Symptom Producing
Events (SPE) was the beating by her mother at age five, and
the Symptom Intensifying Event (SIE) was a divorce shortly
after her first marriage which verified for her that she had
no worth. (ISE, SPE, and SIE will be discussed in Chapter
24 - Age Regression).
I would like
to share with you some of the suggestions, imagery and healing
stories used with Cindy, over a three month period. I still
see Cindy from time to time at community events and she is
much happier, less inhibited by pain, and feels much better
about herself as a person.
As Cindy was
very responsive to religious imagery, I told her the story
of Mary and Martha. I asked her to close her eyes and let
the Mary part be still so she could help the Martha part.
Cindy just let the Mary part of you take over and just listen..The
Psalmist said, "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage
and he shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say on the Lord."
(Ps. 27:14) and the Psalmist said, "Be still and know
that I am God." (Ps. 46:10)
Now listen
to the words of Jesus from Matthew 6:25-34. "For this
reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to
what you shall eat, or what you shall drink: nor for our body,
as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and
the body than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that
they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth
much more than they? And which of you by being anxious can
add a single cubit to his life's span? And why are you anxious
about clothing? Observe how the lilies for the field grow:
they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even
Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of
these. But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which
is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will
He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith? Do
not be anxious then, saying, what shall we eat? or What shall
we drink? or with what shall we clothe ourselves? For all
these things the Gentiles eagerly seek: for your heavenly
Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first
His kingdom and His righteousness: and all these things shall
be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow;
for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble
of its own."
From John 14:27
hear Jesus say, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give
unto you, not as the world gives, give I unto you, not as
the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled.
Neither let it be afraid." I counted her out of hypnosis
and concluded the session.
At another
occasion, I told her this story for improving health. This
story was written by Audrey (Tucker) Morgan titled, "The
Magic Brook."
The Magic Brook (by
Audrey "Tucker" Morgan)
By a lovely
tree in the country, there was a gentle brook. It was so cool
and fresh and clean. All the animals like to come and drink
out of the brook.
Sitting in
a blue robe and brown slippers was a wise old man. His hair
was silver white and hung to his shoulders. He also had a
white beard that fell down into his lap. He had a gentile
smile that put everyone at ease. The grown ups called him,
"The Wise One."
If you drank
the water from the brook they would say, "You never get
sick."
All the grow
ups brought their children to the brook to drink the water.
The Wise Old Man would smile and tell everyone, "Hello."
As the children
grew up they noticed that no one got sick. They were all well,
not a stomach ache, nothing.
One day a young
girl approached the brook alone. The wise old man sat under
the tree. He looked at the girl and smiled. The young girl
said, "Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me why no one
gets sick? If we just drink the water from this brook, we
are forever well."
The wise old
man smiled and in a very gentle voice said, "The brook
has no magic to it." Then he told the girl, "The
people believe the brook has the magic to keep them well.
Therefore, they don't get sick." The wise old man said,
"It's what you believe in your heart that works. There
is no magic in the brook, only what's in your heart."
Now Cindy allows the healing powers which God created in you
begin to work for your healing and well being; physically,
emotionally, and spiritually.
Toward the
end of her counseling session, I had Cindy hold the child
of her past, love it, and give her the love she did not experience
as a baby and little girl. Give the little girl of your past
the love she missed as a child. Cindy would cradle the imaginary
child of her past, pet it, love it, and tell her how much
she loved her.
I concluded
Cindy's last session with this story. "Tadpoles and Frogs."
Tadpoles and Frogs
The Psalmist
once wrote, "When I consider thy heavens, the works of
thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordain,
what is man, that thou hast take thought of him? And
the son of man thou hast care for him?" (Psalm 8:3-4)
The Psalmist
answers his own question about the importance of people. Remember
when the Psalmist use the word "man" in this verse,
he means both male and female. He means you and me. The Psalmist
wrote his answer, "Yet, thou has made him a little lower
than God, and hast crowned him with glory and honor. Thou
hast made him to rule over the works of thy hands; Thou hast
put all things under his feet." (Psalm 8:5-6)
God has made
you in his image. You are just a little lower than God. You
are special.
Thus God speaks
to you, "You are very special to me. I made you. I made
you in my image. I love you. I have given you life. Use, enjoy,
discover, learn, become the person I made you to be. Keep
on becoming the person you can be, living fully and experience
my love for you. You are special."
My sister,
Sybil Waldrop, tells a story about tadpoles in her book, Getting
Good at Being You (page 14) which I would like to share with
you. She writes, "As a young child, the most delightful
and memorable experience I had of God's handiwork was watching
tadpoles change into frogs. When I was growing up, my father
was pastor of four or five churches at a time. When he preached
away from our hometown, we would spend the afternoon with
a family who attended the local church. One of my favorite
things to do was to find a glass jar and walk along the road
in search of a puddle of water where I could find frog eggs-little
black balls-each protected by a coat of transparent jelly.
Carefully, I would place the jars mouth beneath my wonderful
discovery and gather the eggs into the jar. Day by day I would
watch as tiny black balls changed into wiggling tadpoles which
grew bigger and bigger. A long tail developed and gradually
disappeared as frogs formed. Soon tiny amphibious frogs emerged;
such was the dramatic transformation. Later I learned the
term 'metamorphosis' to describe this change." God and
you can work together to bring about a transformation in your
life. You can live a fuller life as you make changes in your
life which are beneficial to you. If God can change a tadpole
into a frog, just think what he can do with you, the highest
of his creation.
Cindy is doing
very well and enjoying life as never before. Cindy allows
the Mary part of her personality to help the Martha part of
her to release her anxiety and fear so that she could live
a more balanced and enjoyable life.
Taken
from www.neurosemantics.com
(c)1997 Paul G. Durbin. All
rights reserved.
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